First Advice Letters

Dear Friend,

I love my boyfriend dearly but he is always comparing me to other girls and telling me I should get my body done when I’m older.  I think I am fine the way I am, but it hurts me that he might not think I’m pretty enough.  What should I do? 

Response:

Hello Friend,

First of all, you are pretty the way you are and if he can’t accept that then maybe he shouldn’t be your boyfriend.  No guy should ever make you feel insecure about yourself.  If he is asking you to get your body done, it’s clear he views you as an object.  You think you are fine the way you are? That’s how it should be.  You show confidence in yourself.  You know what makes you happy, and what he’s doing isn’t making you happy.  My advice is to close the door on this relationship, and one day you will open the door for something better.  Good luck.

Dear Friend,

I’ve been noticing that my friend hasn’t been inviting me to go out for lunch lately.  I see her with other friends and don’t know why she hasn’t asked me to join them.  I asked her if I did something wrong but she said no.  It’s really bothering me.  I feel sad and upset.  What should I do?

Response:

Maybe instead of asking her what you did wrong, you can be direct and ask her why she hasn’t invited you to lunch.  If she still doesn’t tell you why or give you a valid reason, then maybe you should consider taking a break from her.  I’m sure there will be others for you to hang out with.  You cannot force anyone to be with you if they don’t want to be.  You know your value as a friend.  Communication is the key for everything, but sometimes you have to walk away when everything you have tried is not working.  Good Luck.

Dear Friend,

I feel depressed all the time.  It seems like nothing I do makes me feel better.  What can I do to be happy?

Response:

Hello Friend,

I am sorry to hear that you are feeling this way.  There are so many things out there that can make you feel better.  There are hobbies that can get you out of your comfort zone, like hiking.  I personally go out for walks because I love nature and the feeling of inhaling fresh air.  When I’m outside, I feel peaceful and start to realize there’s so much more to life than what is happening at this moment.  There is so much ahead.  Try reading, watching new TV shows/movies, start writing in a journal, listen to music, etc.  Happiness isn’t linear.  I know it takes time.  Life always intervenes just when you think you have solved the key to happiness.  What matters is how you handle unpleasant situations.  You can decide how you handle it.  You can decide how you will let negative events affect you.  Channel your depression into something beautiful like art or a poem.  Surround yourself with positive people. Find a trusted adult you can talk to.  Consider therapy.   If you don’t have positive people around you, be that person for yourself.  

You are young.  Things will change.  Look at happiness as a choice.  Good Luck.

Dear Friend,

I don’t like one of my teachers and my guidance counselor told me I cannot transfer out of their class.  How do I handle this? I need this class to graduate.

Response:

Dear Friend,

Ask  yourself why you don’t like your teacher. Once you have figured that out, talk to your teacher about it.  Communication is important with people who play big roles in your lives.  However, sometimes you just need to power through these types of situations and deal with it maturely.  You aren’t going to like everyone.  When you’re older, you might not like your boss but you can’t just switch jobs that easily.  You make it work.  You need the credit.  You need to graduate.  Sometimes we have to do what we have to do.  Nothing will be perfect.  Don’t let one teacher stop you.  Do your work.  Go to class.  Participate. Get the grade.  It really is that simple.  Good Luck.